lets start a swedish sibling band together
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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