People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
