Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
