his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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