what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Randomize
