wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
