Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
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Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I can't turn off my feet"
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I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
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