im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
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I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A+ Viking dick
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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