I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
