i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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