Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
