TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
