Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
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