I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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