its not stalking. its research.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
