mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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