Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
