You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
