Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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