this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
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