I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
