Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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