Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
