how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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