I love black thongs
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
