so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
