I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize