Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
