he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
