I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
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