that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Randomize
