PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I looked at my own cervix.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
