the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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