would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
