Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
