Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
