My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I have fence marks all over my body
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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