dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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