Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
