Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
