he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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