I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
