do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
