You just made me feel so damn special
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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