First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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