Yo dont text me then not text me
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Randomize
