I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
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In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
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The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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