She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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