I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
