Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
