Duck Duck Cougar?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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