used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Houston, we have a squirter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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