your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize