His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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