Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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