My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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