I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
