Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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