Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
oh god the rape fog is back!
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
