Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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