I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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