I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I could fuck to npr.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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